WTF - Rhino Slaughter Continues

The slaughter of rhinos continues in South Africa to feed the demand created by a Chinese superstition. 333 rhinos killed in 2010 alone! 333 of South Africa's rhinos! My rhinos! And by March 2011, the figure was standing at 71. According to the Wildlife Society of South Africa, the white rhino population has increased from just over 5000 in 1991 to nearly 20,000 today. So what if 300 are killed a year I hear the Chinese say. There are plenty more. That's not the point. The point is that 20,000 rhinos are not enough and even if it were, these noble animals are being cruelly slaughtered to feed an archaic, moronic superstition that has no validity. Scientific tests have shown that rhino horn has no effect on the ability of under-endowed Chinese men (or the rest of the male population either) being able to get their little pi-pis up.

Yes, greedy South African farmers and poachers are the triggermen and deserve as much of the blame and should be dragged behind a bakkie down a tarred road or something. That'll teach 'em! But like the drug war in South and Central America, the demand is the root cause of the problem. And in the case of rhino horn, it is not addictive.

We have tried to be nice about it, but anyone who knows the Chinese (and many other Asian nations), knows that many of them are so self-centred and shallow that they don't give a flying shit about the environment or nature - or anything else except their own self-importance and what they wring out of the world for themselves. You just have to take a trip around their country to see that this is in fact the case. Air that is poisonous, dead rivers ... Yes, many of them have realised that this is a problem and are trying to educate their brethren but by the time they get the message through to the newly moneyed peasants who believe that rhino horn will help their flagging libidos so they are not embarassed in front of their slutty girlfriends, the rhinos will be gone. So solly. Well, not solly enough my little droopy friend.

 Photo: Reuters

However, if drastic action is taken now, we can do something to save the rhinos. I like the idea of poisoning the horns. It doesn't affect the rhino but kills the mother fuckers fuelling this crime. However, the bleeding heart liberals say its too cruel. After all, in their eyes, they are only rhinos, and definitely not worth the life of a single money-grubbing little Chinese pervert who has done nothing for the world except help make at least one species extinct. I disagree.

Another alternative and something at will strike closer to home is to put out a hit on one panda for every rhino killed. We can start a rumour that if you grind up their paws and spread it on toast it is delicious - as inane a reason for slaughtering pandas as their reason for killing rhinos.
The Chinese love their pandas and will see this as such an affront that they might be jolted into seeing things from our perspective. Either that or they will declare war on us.
It's not very nice when uncaring foreigners start killing off your natural treasures is it? In any case, there are over 1800 pandas around. Losing 10 or 20 won't do much to their numbers. I have nothing against pandas but it justifies the shooting of a few to save our rhinos from extinction, in my view.
Click. Boom! Oh no! Why you do this?
Because you have been killing our rhinos.
Oooooooooooh. So solly.
This way the Chinese will start policing their own backyard in this regard, seeing that our pleas to stop the slaughter have fallen on deaf ears. Sometimes you can't talk nicely to people. You have to kick them in the balls. And for anyone saying that this is cruel and stupid, I agree - it would be better to shoot the horny, small-penised, peasant-minded, self-important turds that are the cause of the problem.